VoicePost 786K 4:10

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In this edition of the Celebrity Afterlife Report:

* The (in)famous Rat Pack is finally back together now that Joey Bishop has arrived in the Afterlife. What do they have planned? We'll tell you.

* Alan Funt, the creator and host of Candid Camera, is putting together a Next World version of his popular show. The Big Question is: who will the new host be? The answer may surprise you.

* Novelist and controversial literary figure Norman Mailer no sooner showed up in the Afterlife when he found himself in a feud with another Afterlife resident. Who does Mailer want to punch out?

* The situation between former president Lyndon Johnson and his wife Lady Bird has finally come to a head. How are things between the philandering Lyndon and his long-time spouse?

* Robert Goulet is a newcomer to the Next World. Immediately after he arrived, he ran into Elvis Presley, who famously shot out his TV upon seeing Goulet perform years ago. How did the two get along this time? We'll let you know.

VoicePost 716K 3:42

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In this week's edition of the Celebrity Afterlife Report:

* Marcel Marceau and Tupac Shakur are working together on a project in the Afterlife. How are the two getting along? We'll give you the details.

* Lyndon Johnson has been hiding from his wife Lady Bird as he spends time with more attractive women. Friends worry that Lady Bird is starting to catch on to Lyndon's infidelity. Has someone told the little bird what's going on?

* Luciano Pavarotti is preparing to play perhaps the greatest role of his Afterlife in the show he is developing with Beverly Sills. What does Sills have in mind for the hefty tenor?

* Talk show host Tom Snyder is back in the saddle, so to speak, in the Next World. Who were the guests on the pilot episode of Snyder's new talk show and which of them did he get into a heated argument with?

* Leona Helmsley, the deceased real estate mogul who once famously said that taxes are for the "little people," has a new business partner in the Afterlife...and you won't believe who it is.

VoicePost 748K 3:56

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In this week's Celebrity Afterlife Report:

* We now know what project Beverly Sills and Luciano Pavarotti are involved in. We'll tell you, but you may not believe it.

* Speaking of unlikely projects, world-famous Marcel Marceau no sooner arrived in the Afterlife than he was offered a very unusual project. Find out what it is and who offered it to him.

* In the last Report, we told you that Ronald Reagan surprised friends by warmly greeting his ex-wife Jane Wyman. How are the two getting along these days, now that they're reunited?

* In other news about deceased Presidents and their wives, things appear to be coming to a head with Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson. What's about to pop?

* John Denver and Benny Hill have allegedly developed a mysterious gadget called the uPod. Now there appears to be a rift in their relationship. Does this bode ill for the uPod?

VoicePost 758K 4:00

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In this edition of the Celebrity Afterlife Report:

* We've been telling you about the comedy of errors between Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson. Now we have a new situation between President Ronald Reagan and his now-deceased first wife, Jane Wyman. What's up with the Gipper? We'll tell you.

* So, what IS going on with the Johnsons? The situation is about to come to a head. Find out why?

* This week we find out a little more about what's being offered to opera star Luciano Pavarotti.

* We've been hearing for months now about the uPod, the gadget developed by singer/actor John Denver and British comedian Benny Hill. So, what IS the uPod and when can we expect to see one?

* Liberal newspaper columnist Molly Ivins is back in the news. What is the notorious firebrand up to in the Next World. We'll tell you.

VoicePost 852K 4:22

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In this week's Celebrity Afterlife Report:

* On the Earthly plane, Leona Helmsley was called the "Queen of Mean." The question is, has she continued to look down on the "little people" now that she is in the Afterlife? We'll tell you.

* During his time on Earth, there was much speculation about Merv Griffin's sexual orientation. Now that he's in the Next World, Merv has cleared things up. Did he come out of the closet?

* For months now, unknown to her, Lady Bird Johnson's husband, former President Lyndon Johnson, has been avoiding her. The story has taken a strange new twist and we'll tell you what that twist is.

* Hmm, there's even more news about Merv Griffin to report, it seems. We'll give you the up-to-the-minute scoop.

* World-famous tenor Lucianno Pavarotti has arrived in the Afterlife and things are already hopping for him. We'll give you the details.

VoicePost 709K 3:43

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In the Celebrity Afterlife Report this week:

* Harry Houdini and opera singer Beverly Sills are not exactly on the best terms these days. In fact, they're practically at each other's throat. Find out why.

* Tom Snyder has a job offer in the Afterlife. You'll never guess what it is or who made it.

* The comedy of errors between Lady Bird Johnson and her husband Lyndon continues. Find out the latest plot wrinkle.

* Merv Griffin is in the Next World. Some famous people were on the scene to greet him when he arrived. We'll tell you who they are.

* Legendary New York Yankee shortstop and announcer Phil Rizzuto just arrived in the Afterlife. No sooner than Scooter arrived when, like Tom Snyder, he received a job offer. What will the Scooter be doing and does it concern baseball, the game he loves?

It's SO annoying when my "phone line" (for want of a better term) to the Afterlife fails me! That's what happened this week. I was in the middle of getting some great stories about deceased celebrities, too. Nothing I can do when that happens, though, so I will have to postpone a Report until next week. There WILL be one next week, though, I promise you!

VoicePost 762K 4:02

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In this week's Celebrity Afterlife Report:

* How did one of former First Lady Lady Bird Johnson's friends save her from an emotional catastrophe? We'll tell you.

* Legendary film director Ingmar Bergman arrived in the Afterlife this week...and you won't believe what was there to greet him.

* Hot on Bergman's heels, Michaelangelo Antonioni arrived in the Next World. Was his welcoming committee as elaborate as Bergman's?

* Speaking of surprises, you'll never guess who was there to welcome former Tomorrow show host Tom Snyder to the Afterlife.

* What happened to Henny Youngman, King of the One-liners, that may make him reconsider his new sport of fencing?

VoicePost 737K 3:52

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In this week's edition of the Celebrity Afterlife Report:

* The Captain Kangaroo/Mr. Wizard feud heats up. Who wanted to take a piece out of whose ass? We'll tell you.

* Former First Lady Dolley Madison thought she had a winner with her new Dolley Water, but shopkeepers are carping about some of the restrictions on stocking the designer H2O. What's the latest in this ongoing story?

* Speaking of First Ladies, Lady Bird Johnson recently arrived in the Afterlife. Has she gotten together yet with her wandering hubby, Lyndon? And just what is the secret her friends are keeping from her?

* Legendary escape artist Harry Houdini hounded opera singer Beverly Sills to help him become a tenor. Are the two singing a happy song together or has Houdini's perfectionism gotten to Sills?

* We've told you that King of the Oneliners, Henny Youngman has been studying to become a fencer. Has Henny stuck to the rigid training regimen or has he decided that the joke is mightier than the sword?

VoicePost 712K 3:41

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In this week's edition of the Celebrity Afterlife Report:

* King of the One-liners Henny Youngman has decided to take up a new sport and is looking for someone to teach him how to be good at it. You're not going to believe what Henny's taking up.

* First Lady Lady Bird Johnson is now an Afterlife resident. A small crowd greeted her when she arrived. Who wasn't among her well-wishers? We'll tell you.

* In the last Report, I told you that Harry Houdini was begging opera singer Beverly Sills to coach him as he attempts to become a tenor. The Houdini-Sills Project has hit a snag, though. Find out what the hangup is.

* Speaking of former First Ladies, Dolley Madison has finally gotten her new line of bottled water to stores. Not everyone is happy about it, though. What's the controversy surrounding Dolley Water?

* Singer/actor John Denver and British comic Benny Hill have been developing a mysterious product called the uPod. What's the latest on the uPod. We'll update you.